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CommentsI really like this and since it asked for critique, the only thing I can say is I'm not sure about the red dot on the bird. I'm not sure if it's blood or something, but I think it'll be better without.
-- Lay down in a chrome box with me that's too expensive to die in, and we'll suck the dew off each other's morning lips like wine tastings. The red is this remnant (as is the bird, actually) of some theme I've been regurgitating lately. Something about birds and red dots... still haven't been to a psychoanalyst to try to untangle it.
But, as usual, I will likely be revising this in the future and will definitely keep it in mind. Thanks for the advice.  -- .:[ eep ]:. Ahaha, you're welcome. If it has a purpose by all means keep it.
 -- Lay down in a chrome box with me that's too expensive to die in, and we'll suck the dew off each other's morning lips like wine tastings. |
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